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Thursday, 7 November 2013
Negative Thinking
The Positive Power of Negative Thinking
If you want to achieve a major goal, conventional wisdom says to think
positive. Picture yourself delivering the perfect presentation, and
absorb the energy of the audience. Envision the ideal job interview, and
imagine yourself on cloud nine when you get the offer. Although these
strategies sound compelling, it turns out that they often backfire. Many
of us are more successful when we focus on the reasons that we're
likely to fail.
This post originally appeared on LinkedIn.
In a series of clever studies, the psychologists Julie Norem and Nancy Cantor compared strategic optimistsMost people assume that strategic optimists outperform defensive pessimists, because they benefit from confidence and high expectations. Norem and Cantor found that defensive pessimists were more anxious and set lower expectations for themselves in analytical, verbal, and creative tasks. Yet they didn't perform any worse.
"At first, I asked how these people were able to do so well despite their pessimism," Norem writes in The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. "Before long, I began to realize that they were doing so well because of their pessimism... negative thinking transformed anxiety into action." By imagining the worst-case scenario, defensive pessimists motivate themselves to prepare more and try harder.
Strategic optimists and defensive pessimists succeed under different circumstances. If you're a defensive pessimist, or you're attempting to motivate one, the strategies that prove effective are often the reverse of what you expect.
Don't Whistle While You Work
Although evidence shows that happiness often makes us more successful by fostering energy and creativity, it can backfire for defensive pessimists. When strategic optimists and defensive pessimists threw darts, they did equally well overall, but were most effective under opposite conditions. Before throwing darts, some people listened to relaxing tapes ("hear the gentle rolling of waves on a sun-sparkled ocean"). Others imagined themselves throwing darts and missing their targets. When they actually threw their darts, the strategic optimists were about 30% more accurate when they relaxed rather than imagining negative outcomes.But the opposite was true for the defensive pessimists: they were about 30% more accurate when they thought about negative outcomes, instead of relaxing or picturing perfect performance. Norem's research suggests that "positive
Encouragement Discourages
We think it's a good idea to encourage people, but not so fast. In one experiment, people completed a drawing task requiring focus and accuracy. Right before the task, for half of the participants, the researcher looked at their grades in college and said, "Hmm, given how well you've done in the past, I would think that you'd be very confident about your performance. You will probably do very well on the upcoming tasks." These words of encouragement slightly boosted the performance of strategic optimists, who did 14% better.In contrast, the defensive pessimists did significantly worse when they were encouraged, scoring 29% lower. The encouragement boosted their confidence, quelling their anxiety and interfering with their efforts to set low expectations. As Oliver Burkeman writes in The Antidote, "Reassurance is a double-edged sword."
Don't Worry
When people are anxious, we sometimes tell them to distract themselves. Once again, this doesn't pay off for defensive pessimists. In another experiment, people completed a questionnaire about their styles, and then took a mental math test that involved adding and subtracting numbers in their heads (like 15 + 47 - 73). The strategic optimists didn't benefit from reflecting on possible outcomes, but the defensive pessimists did. When the defensive pessimistsSave Fantasies for the Silver Screen
Studies show that positive fantasies discourage achievement-when people imagine losing weight or pursing a relationship with a crush, they're less likely to follow through. Also, people perform worse when they say "I will" than when they ask themselves, "Will I?""Affirmation feels good," writes Dan Pink in To Sell Is Human. "But it doesn't prompt you to summon the resources and strategies to actually accomplish the task."
We Need the Glass to Be Half-Full and Half-Empty
In the U.S., we favor optimists over pessimists. When economists surveyed more than 1,000 U.S. CEOs, they found that more than 80% scored as "very optimistic."Optimists tend to thrive in jobs that require resilience and perseverance. For example, in insurance sales jobs with high rejection rates, optimists sold 37% more than pessimists over a 2-year period and were half as likely to quit in their first year. In Learned Optimism, psychologist Martin Seligman reveals that when things go wrong, pessimists view negative events as personal (I'm a terrible public speaker), permanent (I'm never going to get better), and pervasive (I'm going to lose the respect of my colleagues and my spouse). Optimists, by contrast, recognize that when a presentation misses the mark, it's possible that the audience wasn't ready for their message, they can practice and improve, and they can still excel at other tasks and have an enjoyable evening at home.
At the same time, we need pessimists to anticipate the worst and prepare us all for it. On average, research indicates that people who never worry have lower job performance than those who worry from time to time. Studies also show that when entrepreneurs are highly optimistic, their new ventures bring in less revenue and grow more slowly, and when CEOs are highly optimistic, they take on more risky debt and swing for the fences more often, putting their companies in jeopardy. (This may be why there are fewer optimistic CFOs than CEOs.)
Ultimately, both styles are deadly at their extremes. Pessimism becomes fatalistic, and optimism becomes toxic. The key is to find the sweet spot, the more moderate ranges that combine the benefits of both approaches. In the words of Richard Pine, "The best chief executives-and that includes presidents-know that too much optimism is a dangerous thing, that wise and productive leadership means striking a balance between optimists' blue sky view of the world and pessimists' more clear-eyed assessment of any given situation. Take one part salesman, one part inventor, one part lawyer, one part safety engineer, stir gently and you've got a great chief executive."
If you're the kind of person who's always telling other people to look on the bright side, you might want to reconsider. Whether people succeed is not a matter of thinking positively or negatively, but rather whether they choose the strategies that match their thinking styles. As psychologists Heidi Grant Halvorson and Tory Higgins write in Focus, "It's the fit that counts."
And if you're a defensive pessimist, when preparing for a performance that really matters, you might want to list your weaknesses instead of your strengths, and drink a glass of anxiety rather than a shot of confidence.
Muharram begins
Our path-way is to observe Seerat-e-Masoomeen. Our each and every Majlis / Mahfil starts with Recitation from the Holly Quran and ends with the remembrance of sacrifice of Shohda-e-Islam.
And this is a fact beyond any doubt that Azadari-e-Syed-us-Shoda Hazasrat Imam Hussain A.S. played a vital role in introducing and identifying ourselves. This Azadari also helped in image building of Shiat, history of which is spread over hundreds of years.
And this is a fact beyond any doubt that Azadari-e-Syed-us-Shoda Hazasrat Imam Hussain A.S. played a vital role in introducing and identifying ourselves. This Azadari also helped in image building of Shiat, history of which is spread over hundreds of years.
Our 14th Masoomeen
|
Hazarat Mohammad Janab-e- Fatima Hazarat Ali Imam Hassan Imam Hussain Imam Zan-ul-abideen Imam Mohammad Baqar Imam Jafar Sadiq Imam Moosa Kazim Imam Ali Raza Imam Mohammad Taqi Imam Ali Naqi Imam Hassan Askari Imam Mehndi |
Friday, 1 November 2013
Thursday, 31 October 2013
Hollywood’s Biggest Stars wear Platinum
From Anne Hathaway’s stud earrings to Naomi Watts’ cuff bracelet, Hollywood’s leading actresses chose to showcase their jewels in naturally white platinum settings that truly enhance the brilliance of diamonds and colored gemstones. Platinum is the precious metal that never changes color nor fades. It’s the ideal choice for life’s most unforgettable moments.
Anne Hathaway in Platinum by Tiffany & Co.
- Platinum and diamond Corsage necklace ($485,000)
- Platinum and diamond stud earrings ($39,300)
- Platinum and diamond Fringe bracelet ($200,000)
- Platinum and diamond Paisley bracelet ($115,000)
Jennifer Garner in Platinum by Neil Lane
- Darkened platinum and diamond necklace (200 carats)
- Darkened platinum and diamond earrings
- Darkened platinum and diamond bracelet
Naomi Watts in Platinum by Neil Lane
- Platinum and diamond drop earrings (20 carats)
- Platinum and diamond bracelet
Charlize Theron in Platinum by Harry Winston
- Vintage 1959 Platinum Lattice bracelet (58.07 total carats)
- Vintage 1959 Platinum Cluster bracelet (57.30 total carats)
- Platinum and diamond marquise Lattice bracelet
- Platinum and diamond ear studs (5 carats each), $1.6 million
- Platinum and marquise cut diamond ring
Sandra Bullock in Platinum by Harry Winston
- Platinum and diamond cluster brooch
- Platinum and diamond ring
- Platinum and round diamond ear studs
Adele in Platinum by Harry Winston
- Platinum and diamond cluster earrings ($1 million)
- Platinum and diamond ring
Zoe Saldana in Platinum by Neil Lane
- Platinum and diamond chandelier earrings with pearls
- 9 Platinum and diamond rings
A day at the Royal Davui in Fiji
Picture this- you’re staying at the Royal Davui, you wake up and a little while later you step out to take a glance at the bed of blue. Dreamy thoughts is what you’ll have if you think about the Royal Davui. So if you’ve already decided that you want to go there, here’s what awaits you.
Hop inside for a quick shower or a lazy session inside the hot bathtub. Couples get spoilt with Pure Fiji amenities, so don’t forget to indulge!
A picnic is not your regular outing at the Royal Davui. Tidal islets formed on Fiji’s azure waters are your picnic hotspots. Spend the afternoon in privacy as you watch the waves dance from the comforts of your deck chairs. And treat yourself to a picnic hampered with delicious Fiji goodies.
What better place to enjoy an evening sunset than from your personal villa? Lounge around with a glass of wine or opt for a session of Pure Fiji Tropical couples massage. Savor each second as it slips by!
End your evening with a cozy candlelit dinner at a private dining hut. Let the chefs at the island delight you with a selection of their signature dishes. And the finest spirits to accompany your meals.
And before you say that you’ve missed the waters, here is a small reminder of where you are!
make up and everthing
story of a person..personal transition!
how make up changes U..
I had a busy morning so I rushed to Neeta Lulla’s store; I was actually a little stressed due to some work preoccupations, so I thought I would be done with the makeover and styling in two hours and then return to work. But once I entered, oh my, not only did I forget about rushing back to office, I was ready to spend the entire day there!
I first met Wedding Planner Neha Shroff who was very warm and helped me look at Neeta Lulla’s collection. My heart fell on a stunning electric pink lehenga with silver floral embroidery, which was paired with a pink choli and dupatta. After I tried the outfit, I loved it even more. We then looked at the jewellery options from Azva, I really liked their contemporary yet traditional creations and we decided on a gold jewellery set with pink stones to match my outfit.
It was one thing to wear the bridal ensemble and accessories, and another to look like one. Ojas, being the amazing makeup artist that she is, used just the right amount of makeup from Inglot to give me a wow look. Starting with a base for my face, she first did my eyes. She applied an eye make-up base, and on the eyelid she applied a mix of different eye shadows to contour my eyes and accentuate the eye shape. Then, she applied kohl on the inner and outer rim of the eye and finished by using fake lashes, and running a liquid black liner on the lash line to make it look more natural. For my lips, she used a natural skin color liner and a soft pink lipstick over it, and finished by adding gloss for a mirror shine effect. I was thrilled once I saw my final look. I felt so beautiful, happy and confident!
The last bit, was the most fun part of the day, the photo shoot with Candid Photographer Dev Purbiya. With his great talent and camaraderie, Dev ensured I was much at ease while I posed for the camera and he clicked away. What a day it had been, thanks to the special efforts by WeddingSutra and Neeta Lulla’s Studio.”
Nikita’s Look
Jewellery- Azva
Outfit – Neeta Lulla
Makeup & Hair- Ojas Rajani
Makeup Partner- Inglot
Styling- Neha Shroff (Momente Wedding Planners)
Shoot Management- Tejal Karlekar and Anshu Kalwani
Photographs Courtesy- Dev Purbiya
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