work buddy a true friend?

Is your work buddy a true friend?

Friendships and bonding in workplaces are inevitable. That is because we end up spending most of our time with colleagues, even more than family and friends. Naturally, we’re more inclined to ask them for any kind of advice, especially one that concerns our career. And it always helps if you have a mentor at work—someone who tells you the right way to approach a problem and how to steer your career in the right direction. But do mentors still exist? Do we have colleagues who listen to us bitch about the boss and give us advice that’s helpful? It’s tempting to take your colleagues’ advice, but be careful. You don’t know if it’s coming from a person who genuinely wants to help you or someone who’s only looking out for herself. Experts debate the pros and cons of heading to a co-worker’s workstation to vent your anger.

You get a fresh perspective:
Your colleague knows your office culture and the way your boss works. As much as you try to explain the problem you’re facing at work, your best friend won’t fully understand it. That’s where a colleague is helpful. “A colleague will always ease your decision-making process,” says Geetanjali Chavan, career counsellor with The Growth Centre.

It matters who you’re asking:
How reliable a colleague’s advice is will depend on things like your relations with your colleagues and seniors and your job profile. “Choose someone who is focused towards work and knowledgeable,” says Geetanjali. Research analyst Smriti Tandel, 24, learnt this the hard way. She had been having a few bad days at work and didn’t know how to approach her boss without sounding petty. “I wanted my boss to know that someone else, not me, was responsible for the delays,” she says. This was Smriti’s first job and she didn’t know that it’s never wise to point fingers. “A co-worker I used to confide in told me to use the direct approach and just tell my boss as it was. And I was reprimanded for being unprofessional.”

Trust the person whose advice you’re taking:
Psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany believes there’s nothing more important than trust here. “Don’t be naïve and think that your co-workers are not competitive,” she says. “There will always be jealous colleagues who will take this opportunity to pull you down by giving you advice that is not sincere and which may do you harm.” Which begs the question, should you even ask for advice from your colleagues? “You cannot put anybody in the role of an advisor or a mentor. Your colleague may give you advice that she deems is appropriate. It is up to you to take or dismiss it,” says Dr Hingorrany. A genuinely concerned colleague will give you the right advice, boost your confidence and follow up with your progress.