Is your work buddy a true friend?
Friendships and bonding in workplaces are inevitable. That is because
we end up spending most of our time with colleagues, even more than
family and friends. Naturally, we’re more inclined to ask them for any
kind of advice, especially one that concerns our career. And it always
helps if you have a mentor at work—someone who tells you the right way
to approach a problem and how to steer your career in the right
direction. But do mentors still exist? Do we have colleagues who listen
to us bitch about the boss and give us advice that’s helpful? It’s
tempting to take your colleagues’ advice, but be careful. You don’t know
if it’s coming from a person who genuinely wants to help you or someone
who’s only looking out for herself. Experts debate the pros and cons of
heading to a co-worker’s workstation to vent your anger.
You get a fresh perspective: Your
colleague knows your office culture and the way your boss works. As
much as you try to explain the problem you’re facing at work, your best
friend won’t fully understand it. That’s where a colleague is helpful.
“A colleague will always ease your decision-making process,” says
Geetanjali Chavan, career counsellor with The Growth Centre.
It matters who you’re asking: How
reliable a colleague’s advice is will depend on things like your
relations with your colleagues and seniors and your job profile. “Choose
someone who is focused towards work and knowledgeable,” says
Geetanjali. Research analyst Smriti Tandel, 24, learnt this the hard
way. She had been having a few bad days at work and didn’t know how to
approach her boss without sounding petty. “I wanted my boss to know that
someone else, not me, was responsible for the delays,” she says. This
was Smriti’s first job and she didn’t know that it’s never wise to point
fingers. “A co-worker I used to confide in told me to use the direct
approach and just tell my boss as it was. And I was reprimanded for
being unprofessional.”
Trust the person whose advice you’re taking: Psychologist
Dr Seema Hingorrany believes there’s nothing more important than trust
here. “Don’t be naïve and think that your co-workers are not
competitive,” she says. “There will always be jealous colleagues who
will take this opportunity to pull you down by giving you advice that is
not sincere and which may do you harm.” Which begs the question, should
you even ask for advice from your colleagues? “You cannot put anybody
in the role of an advisor or a mentor. Your colleague may give you
advice that she deems is appropriate. It is up to you to take or dismiss
it,” says Dr Hingorrany. A genuinely concerned colleague will give you
the right advice, boost your confidence and follow up with your
progress.
