Beauty TIP OF THE WEEK

One of the most exciting trends in hair today is the creative use of braids to enhance and accent styles. If you want to liven up your look, take a page from Xena’s Beauty Company in New York, New York, for this immaculate style that adds texture and increases appeal. “Braids have been in style for a few seasons,” says Stylist Xena Parsons. “This soft side braid can be worn casually as shown or add a rhinestone clip and you’re off to the opera. And you can easily twist the braid into a knot to create an elegant chignon.
” Follow these steps for your own braided beauty:
1. Section the hair into three parts from ear to ear and with a side or middle part.
2. Use a cream or wax to smooth the hair as you braid.
3. Begin the braid in the back section; as you braid begin to incorporate pieces from either side.
4. Wrap the ends with a cord or strand of leather for the finishing touch.

fantastic braid! must try

hair care winter tips

Winter can be SO harsh on your hair.  But, there is one big bonus (my favorite)- no humidity!  Despite not having to deal with frizzy-ness from humidity, your hair can start to get too dry and brittle.  Here are my best tips to share with you all 

1.  Don’t over-wash your hair.  You do need that pesky oil to keep your locks looking shiny and healthy.  Sometimes, I have the urge to wash my hair too much but it is ok to let your hair go for a day and try to train your scalp to even out its oil production.  The reason my hair seems to get oily so quickly is because frequent washing strips your scalp of it’s natural oils and in turn it overcompensates to try balance out.  Don’t play with your hair too much either, it will get greasy the more you touch it so – hands off!  I use the weekends to let my hair washings spread out a bit and I can tell my hair feels better afterwards!  I also just invested in a good dry shampoo.  I haven’t had a chance to try it as much as I would like but I will fill you in!  If you have light or blonde hair, baby powder works great as well.

2.  Don’t bleach too much.  Frequent processing on your hair makes it extremely brittle and it will break.  Thank goodness that ombre hair is in right! Now it’s totally in style to let those roots grow out and have that natural “I just let my sun-kissed hair grow out from the summer look”.  If this just isn’t your style try an all over color or go for some low lights  Want more darker hair inspiration?? Check out my Pinterest boards HERE, and look through my “Locks and Looks” or “Dress Me” boards.

3.  Let your blow dryer and flattening iron take a little hiatus.  It’s ok to let your hair air dry once in a while.  If you have naturally curly hair like mine I simply throw some product in and let it go.  I actually like to use a pomade.  Ha! Believe it or not I steal from my hubby’s hair products.   The Got2B pomade (HERE) gives you a non-frizzy wave that isn’t crunchy, and you don’t need to use a lot.   Those beachy natural waves are in people!   If you do often blow dry your hair check out the split-end treatment I shared on my Must Have Products post HERE.  I have already had one reader of the blog share that they absolutely loved this product!

4.  Schedule a trip to your stylist.  Getting a frequent trim will keep your hair healthier and they can suggest the best products to deal with every type of hair.  They have the best expertise and knowledge and you should take advantage of that.

FAVORITE COLOR REVEALS PERSONALITY TYPE

Black is one of the most beautiful colors and yet it is the absence of color. Black want everything done in detail. If a job needs finishing, these are the people to finish it. These personalities need leaders, though, to tell them what needs to be done. Under guidance, they are able to get to the crux of the matter and solve very large problems. When put in a position to find the mistakes of others, they are right at home. They like puzzles, and finding others' mistakes brings out their tenacious spirits. Black will sometimes intentionally find mistakes just so that they can repair them. Sometimes, when one wears black, they do not want to be touched. Putting a barrier between themselves and others is the purpose of this color. Black is a relief color for most people, like "Mom's apple pie". It makes them feel comfortable and even, in some cases, smaller, allowing them to hide from the world.

Blue is an emotional color. Blue stay inside themselves and do not trust people very much. They watch every move others make. Pale shades of blue show someone who wants everything in order. Their closet is immaculate. As blue moves to the deeper end of color, it becomes more moody and shows it. People who prefer this color frequently use their emotions to make decisions. They are also easily affected by the moods of those around them. They sometimes expect you to feel down whenever they are. Showing signs of co-dependency, they need you to be by their side experiencing their feelings.

Green is the color of healing. Green want to help every one. These people can usually be found in the medical profession or some occupation which helps people. Preferring to watch rather than to become involved in others business, they usually keep their thoughts secret. Others see them as good listeners because of this quality. This characteristic makes them wonderful counselors. Greens make others feel at home in their house by putting them at ease immediately. They try to take care of others and they want harmony in every one's life. Greens make the best of friends because they are jovial, caring and can keep a secret. In order for Greens to feel good about themselves, they have to be helping someone or something. Nurturers by choice, they are the ones who take care of other people, animals and plants.

Orange are nature lovers. Being sports minded, they love anything to do with the outdoors. Taking long walks in the woods revives them. Trees and animals mean a lot to them and they want to be a part of nature. Good professions for orange include farmers, ranchers, football players, and guides. People always say good things about these down to earth people. Although they may sometimes invoke anger from others, it usually doesn't last very long. Who can remain mad at someone so helpful? Tending to support the underdog, they will try to help someone who they feel needs assistance. Always aware of their surroundings, they tend to be more adventurous than most. Even though they are impulsive and thoughtful, they generally are very much aware of what they are doing. Learning and remembering through experience is a strong suit of theirs. Orange believe they are meant to have all the good things in life.

Purple is the color of spirituality. Purple are always striving to be better than they consider themselves to be, both on a spiritual, emotional and mental plane. Needing more knowledge, they become avid readers. Trying to become what they think they should be, they search their own lives and the lives of others to find the answers. The study of religions makes them feel as if they are accomplishing something bigger than themselves in life. A good theological discussion is right up their alley. Wanting to help as many people as they can, they are more than willing to give you the benefit of their education. Trying to achieve perfection, they seem to struggle with themselves more than most because they tend to be so critical of themselves.

Red is the color for passion, energy, and money making. Red with orange overtones are dynamic and love the outdoors and anything to do with people. Red with blue overtones can be energetic people with high emotions. Reds in their true red mode are sexy and seductive. Men prefer to watch a women wearing red, even though she may not be the most beautiful woman in the room. It is also the color for someone who wants to have power and be in control. Business people who want to win wear this powerful color to meetings in which they want to stand out. Red makes one feel more energetic or activated. Stop signs are red. Red gets your attention. This energetic personality craves attention and what's more they get it. Being quick with their emotions, they may erupt into a temperamental volcano right in front of you then simmer down just as quickly.

Yellow are business minded and want others to know they are well educated. They strive to attain success through anything that requires mental abilities. Making good leaders, they generally make up their mind in a methodical way. Every detail needs to be analyzed before they make a move. Any strategic game peaks their interest. Chess is the game for them. Yellow may be a little stubborn. When the color moves toward a mustard shade yellow feel that they are the only ones making the right decisions. This tends to make others a little suspicious of their motives. The true yellow makes wise decisions after considering all points of view. Women would rather be in business, than mothers, but can do both and be quite adept at doing so. When these people are under stress, they feel that they need to hide their emotions. If they show stress, it is a sign of weakness and vulnerability. They try not to let you see them sweat. Keeping to themselves without inviting many others into their lives, they generally only have one or two good friends. These friends are usually people who are also business minded, although the true yellow depends on no one but themselves. Adoring tailored clothing, they usually dress quite professionally. Although the women may add larger accessories, they dress with a simple flair.

White is the color of purity. The color of new snow or light from above. What we fail to see is that snow and light have impurities in them but seem to be the purest of all sights. Shyness comes with this color but it is not a true shyness. Waiting patiently for others to notice them before they make their thoughts known, they tend to appear shy but in truth, they are very outspoken. Virginal attitudes abound with these people. They feel pure no matter what they do. The virtue of purity is attributed to them by others as well, whether they deserve this characteristic or not. White feel they are right in their belief structures although they are not sure they want to discuss those beliefs with others. The fact that they know they are right is enough for them.

Pink  want to draw the little smiley faces on everything. Pink are usually either in a blissful state or looking for one. Pink try to see the best in others. If they don't find something good in a person, then there has to be a very good explanation in the pink's mind as to why not. Pink quietly study the best way to approach problems and then take action. Pink see the world through rose colored glasses. The truth of the matter is that it might be nice if we could all put those glasses on now and then. They are shy, very intelligent, hard working people who wish they were more part of the mainstream but are frightened of moving too quickly. Pink watch what they do or say because they are afraid that others may see them in a harsh light. They try to make everyone happy.

halo braiding: under middle for dutch, over middle for french.

tutorial: straightened braid waves

 When I had originally tried this on my hair, it didn't work very well. I tried it in a variety of ways and shared what worked best. The other day I had the urge to try this again in a way I hadn't tried before. The results? It was easy aaaand my hair went from super straight to wavy in no time! Here is what you do...

1. Braid your hair into several braids. I have pretty thick hair and only needed 6 braids. If you have thin hair, maybe try 4 braids. I just used clear elastics to secure the braids at the end.

2. Loosen the braids A LOT. I made mine as flat as possible. It was like a thin sheet of braid.

3. Starting from the top of the braid, clamp your straightener down. Hold it in place for a second and then open it up, move it down and clamp again. Repeat until you reach the end of the braid and then repeat on all braids.

4. Once the braids have cooled, spray with hairspray if you have some that you like. Then unbraid all of your braids.

5. Run your fingers through the braids to loosen the waves and do a quick tease with your fingers at the root of your hair to create some more body.'

Don't Get Defensive: Communication Tips for the Vigilant

When we get defensive, we make it that much harder for our conversational counterparts to hear what we're saying. We also make it harder to really listen to what they have to say. Soon, we're shadow-boxing, defending ourselves against attacks that aren't real, and wasting energy-and relationship capital-on damage control instead of solving the problem at hand.

This post originally appeared on Harvard Business Review.

If you get hooked into defensiveness-and most of us do-you probably already know it. It's likely come up in conversations with your boss or your spouse. And when it did, you probably got defensive about being defensive. After all, it felt like you were being attacked! What else were you supposed to do?

Well, I'll tell you. It's a procedure I call "three strikes and you're in." After someone has said something that causes you to arch your back and want to become defensive:

Strike 1

Think of the first thing you want to say or do and don't do that. Instead, take a deep breath. That is because the first thing you want to do is defend yourself against what you perceive as an attack, slight, or offense.

Strike 2

Think of the second thing you want to say or do and don't do that, either. Take a second breath. That is because the second thing you want to do after being attacked is to retaliate. That is only going to escalate matters.

Strike 3

Think of the third thing you want to say or do and then do that. That is because once you get past defending yourself and retaliating, you have a better chance of seeking a solution.

The main reason to stop getting defensive is that it usually triggers the same response in the other person. If instead you look for ways to be more solution-oriented, you will soon find yourself on your way to more cooperation and collaboration. If you're struggling with what that non-defensive, non-retaliatory, solution-oriented statement might be, focus on being a "plusser." A plusser is someone who listens to what the other person says and then builds on it.

One way of plussing is to use the phrase, "Say more about ______." Think of the words they used that had the most emphasis and invite them to say more about that topic. You will buy yourself time to think and calm down, let your counterpart feel heard, and disarm a counterpart who has bad intentions. Another way to do it is to say, "If we do that, what would be the next step to keep it going?" or "If we do this, what would be the way to get the most out of it?"

Similarly, you can replace "yes, but" with "yes, and." As you probably know, when you say, "yes, but" they hear, "Everything up to now was just being polite and should be disregarded; now I'm going to tell you what the real deal is and you better pay attention." (Isn't it amazing how "yes, but" can mean so much more?). "Yes, and" validates what has been said-and adds to it. For example, "Yes, that's a good point and to make it work even better..." or "Yes, I heard everything you said and help me figure out the way to make sure it gets incorporated..."

If you often find yourself in defensive conversations where you can't figure out why you're arguing-if you find yourself frequently saying, "Hey, I think we actually agree here..."- you might be guilty of saying "yes, but" when you actually mean "yes, and." But what if the person is genuinely unfairly attacking you? What if they've said something you really believe is untrue-you can't say "yes and," or "say more about ____" in that case, can you?

In that case, you might try a "controlled confrontation." You do this by pausing after they speak for a full count of three in your head. This will both take the conversation away from escalating and may cause the other person to become nervous. If they do, that will work in your favor. When you don't take the bait, they are in unfamiliar territory and this can have a slightly disarming effect. At that point, look them squarely, calmly, and firmly in the eye and say, "Whoa! Let's each take a breath here because I am feeling very reactive and I know until I calm down a bit, whatever I say or do now will only make this conversation worse. And I am not going to do that."

Then take that breath and say, "Okay, what's clear to me is that something is frustrating you. What, in your mind's eye, would you like me to do to make that frustration go away? If it's doable and fair to you and me and everyone it affects and in their best interest, I think I'll be happy to oblige. If however it isn't fair or in everyone's best interest, I'm going to have a problem going along with it." Then be quiet, let them respond, and if it doesn't seem fair and in everyone's best interest say, "I'm having some difficulty understanding how that will be fair to everyone and in their best interests. Perhaps you can explain otherwise or we can brainstorm on how to make it so."

By being unflappable and standing up for the principles of fairness, and reason, and mutual best interest, you will be better able to stand up for what's right-and stand up to them in a way that is neither defensive or provoking.